... when all through the house...
... lay World Cup wallcharts, bumper colour supplements, pull-out newpaper guides, a VHS copy of "The World's Greatest Goals: A History Of The World Cup From Charlton To Maradona", and one ever-so-slightly over excited me.
At this juncture I feel compelled to reprimand those of you who don't think the World Cup starts until 7:30pm on Saturday night, when Fabio's boys take on the USA. From tomorrow, at 3pm (classic kick-off time: thank you SA time zone!), I will barely be able to look you fair weather sorts in the eye.
Not because I'm particularly angry - just because I'll be glued to Mexico - South Africa. And then after that, two former world champions go head to head: France (1998) and Uruguay (1930 & 1950).
And on that subject, here's a stat that I worked out all on my ownsome: no team have won their FIRST World Cup on foreign soil since Brazil, in Sweden, in 1958. And before that ONLY West Germany (Switzerland, 1954) had EVER done it. It's only been achieved twice in 70 years! This spells trouble for Spain, Holland, and Portugal - three teams who will have designs on their first title this year.
Now I don't remember Uruguay winning their tournaments, but when France thumped Brazil in Paris I was just arriving at my Uncle Jim's house in Maryland, USA. By the time I got in sight of a TV, the hosts were already 2-0 up thanks to the best footballer I have ever seen in my 24 years as an armchair fan.
Maradona very nearly won two tournaments all by himself. So did Zidane.
Maradona is clearly as mad as a sack of squirrels. Ditto Zizou.
But, sorry Diego, Zinedine was better in the air:
Not to mention the fact that, just this week, Zidane lined up alongside Mike Myers and Woody Harrelson for a Rest of the World XI on Soccer Aid.
Which makes you wonder: when Lionel Messi skips past a cluster of Nigerian defenders on Saturday (Argentina - Nigeria; 15:00) will he have, in the back of his mind, the thought that, if he plays his cards right, he too could find himself in a one on one with Jamie Theakston in 12 years' time?
But let's be honest, that's never going to happen.
By that time, Theakston will be 51.
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