Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Looking back on this tournament, the inevitability of a Spanish victory was as glaringly obvious as Martin Keown's analysis.
Spain may not lay claim to the two best players in world football - although most of their side play with one of them - but if you were putting together a world XI, their squad probably comprises the other nine.
And, when viewed from this position, the question marks over tiki-taka are insane. Insane.
My obiturary of Xavi Hernandez (a keen reader of this blog) has been well and truly thrown back in my face. Or, should I say, has been slid into my feet via another inch-perfectly-weighted-perfectly-timed through ball. The man can pass.
His team can pass. And they passed a good-looking Italian side to death.
Despite which, if Antonio Di Natale had paid more attention to the chances that came his way, this may have been a very different final. It's not that this Spanish team can't be beaten. If Portugal had borrowed Fernando Torres for the semi, they might have won. Perhaps they should have asked. He wasn't doing anything else that night.
Maybe that's something for Michel Platini to consider over his next buffet lunch - the loaning of players between squads during tournaments. He seems so determined to ruin a perfectly good format (24 teams to qualify in 2016) that anything is possible:
And while we're on the subject of incompetence, let's talk briefly about TV commentary.
Football encourages debate and there are many differing opinions. But the one subject that's brought everyone together this tournament, is a consensus that the standard of commentary on the terrestrial channels is the lowest (and most irritating) it's ever been.
For periods of the final, we took to flicking between channels whenever "Lawro" or "Clive" said anything banal or infuriatingly stupid. The result was enough to induce a seizure. We had to stop for our own safety.
Brian Moore, Barry Davies, and Martin Tyler must all be turning in their graves. Which is astonishing when you consider that only one of them is actually dead.
FINAL GEEK-OUT / ROLL CALL
[placings, after round of elimination, decided by group points won, then overall goal difference for the tournament - additional points awarded for extra time / penalty eliminations]
1. Spain; 2. Italy; 3. Germany; 4. Portugal; 5. England; 6. Czech Republic; 7. Greece; 8. France; 9. Russia; 10. Croatia; 11. Sweden; 12. Denmark; 13. Ukraine; 14. Poland; 15. Holland; 16. Republic Of Ireland
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Xavi (Spain)
Goal of the tournament: Balotelli (Germany v ITALY) - [2nd goal]
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
GERMANY 1-2 ITALY
Settling down to watch this with a portable barbecue and two fine friends, one of them - P. F. Shirazzano (the antiquarian bookseller) - lamented the dirge of quality performances by strikers this tournament. Where have all the number nines gone?
Before I even had the chance to talk Shevchenko and Carroll - two players who, between them, lit up a full one and a half games of football - Mario Balotelli produced the individual performance of Euro 2012.
For 45 minutes he was unplayable. As was his strike partner, Antonio Cassano - the headlines belong to Mario, but Cassano was arguably the star man last night.
So Germany, my tip for the title, are out. And didn't the German fans look sad. And didn't the UEFA television director enjoy showing us how sad they looked. Constantly, and from about twenty minutes in.
All of which means we're left with a Spain-Italy final. If ever a game was going to be won in the middle of the park, this is it. Italy's central midfield three have been the most effective of any engine room at Euro 2012. Their biggest concern against Spain is being outnumbered by approx. 10 to 3.
But, sometimes, it's about quality not quantity:
Unfortunately for Italy, Spain have both.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Balotelli (Germany v ITALY) - [2nd goal]
Before I even had the chance to talk Shevchenko and Carroll - two players who, between them, lit up a full one and a half games of football - Mario Balotelli produced the individual performance of Euro 2012.
For 45 minutes he was unplayable. As was his strike partner, Antonio Cassano - the headlines belong to Mario, but Cassano was arguably the star man last night.
So Germany, my tip for the title, are out. And didn't the German fans look sad. And didn't the UEFA television director enjoy showing us how sad they looked. Constantly, and from about twenty minutes in.
All of which means we're left with a Spain-Italy final. If ever a game was going to be won in the middle of the park, this is it. Italy's central midfield three have been the most effective of any engine room at Euro 2012. Their biggest concern against Spain is being outnumbered by approx. 10 to 3.
But, sometimes, it's about quality not quantity:
Unfortunately for Italy, Spain have both.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Balotelli (Germany v ITALY) - [2nd goal]
Thursday, June 28, 2012
PORTUGAL 0-0 SPAIN (SPAIN WIN 4-2 ON PENS)
What was he doing? What was he thinking?
And who am I talking about?
Vincente del Bosque - no number nine again? No Torres? Cristiano Ronaldo - why didn't he take his time? Could he not have cut inside, onto his right foot, like he did against the Dutch... And who decided to save CR7 for the fifth penalty?
If it was the captain's call then his ego, on this tense night in Donetsk, proved to be his downfall. If Paulo Bento wanted to save his star player until the end (when the pressure, presumably, would really be on) then the Portugal coach has not been paying attention to the last thirty two years of football.
Think about it: how often does a shoot out go to the tenth and final penalty? 50% of the time, maybe?*
As a forensic examination of the supposed death of Tiki-taka, this match was exhibit A. Here are my findings:
1) Spain don't like it up 'em
For the first 45 minutes, Portugal gave the Spanish midfield (all ten of them) no space and no time. And they didn't know how to cope. Their lack of a plan B (see Spain 1-1 Italy) was cruelly exposed by hard work, discipline, and attacking intent. Portugal's failure to score during this period was ultimately their undoing.
2) Tiki-taka is tougher than you think
After half time, Spain found another gear. Superb fitness and a belief in their ability (or if you listen to Cesc: destiny) saw them through, as they displayed a trait common in perennial winners: sheer stubborness. The "not today" school of avoiding defeat.
3) We were given a glimpse of life after Xavi
Herecy it may be, but when Pedro replaced The Master on 87 minutes, Spain looked fresher, faster, and more likely to score. Only one team was going to win in extra time, and it wasn't Portugal. True, they were bearing down on exhausted opponents, but Spain seemed more dangerous and direct without Xavi.
There, I've said it.
In other news: did you know that the first player to miss a penalty in a shoot out, in a professional match in England, was Denis Law?
No? Neither did I.
[*based on ZERO research]
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Sergio Ramos (Spain)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
And who am I talking about?
Vincente del Bosque - no number nine again? No Torres? Cristiano Ronaldo - why didn't he take his time? Could he not have cut inside, onto his right foot, like he did against the Dutch... And who decided to save CR7 for the fifth penalty?
If it was the captain's call then his ego, on this tense night in Donetsk, proved to be his downfall. If Paulo Bento wanted to save his star player until the end (when the pressure, presumably, would really be on) then the Portugal coach has not been paying attention to the last thirty two years of football.
Think about it: how often does a shoot out go to the tenth and final penalty? 50% of the time, maybe?*
As a forensic examination of the supposed death of Tiki-taka, this match was exhibit A. Here are my findings:
1) Spain don't like it up 'em
For the first 45 minutes, Portugal gave the Spanish midfield (all ten of them) no space and no time. And they didn't know how to cope. Their lack of a plan B (see Spain 1-1 Italy) was cruelly exposed by hard work, discipline, and attacking intent. Portugal's failure to score during this period was ultimately their undoing.
2) Tiki-taka is tougher than you think
After half time, Spain found another gear. Superb fitness and a belief in their ability (or if you listen to Cesc: destiny) saw them through, as they displayed a trait common in perennial winners: sheer stubborness. The "not today" school of avoiding defeat.
3) We were given a glimpse of life after Xavi
Herecy it may be, but when Pedro replaced The Master on 87 minutes, Spain looked fresher, faster, and more likely to score. Only one team was going to win in extra time, and it wasn't Portugal. True, they were bearing down on exhausted opponents, but Spain seemed more dangerous and direct without Xavi.
There, I've said it.
In other news: did you know that the first player to miss a penalty in a shoot out, in a professional match in England, was Denis Law?
No? Neither did I.
[*based on ZERO research]
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Sergio Ramos (Spain)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Monday, June 25, 2012
ENGLAND 0-0 ITALY (ITALY WIN 4-2 ON PENS)
Welcome to the cold light of day.
If you pertain to be your national team's best player, you have to show up when it matters. Look at the last four: Portugal, Germany, Spain, Italy.
Ronaldo, Ozil, Iniesta, Pirlo.
These players have already left their mark on this tournament. It's no coincidence that they now find themselves in the semi-finals.
We need to talk about Rooney.
Unfit, overweight, underperforming Wayne Rooney.
Far from being England's saviour, last night he wasn't even our best forward (at least Big Andy put himself about a bit when he came on). Quite frankly, he just didn't look good enough.
The harsh truth is, if Uncle Woy wants to play a four-four-two with a traditional pair of strikers up top, Wayne Rooney should be dropped.
That suggestion breaks my heart, because he remains our greatest talent. But this relationship is simply not working: Rooney and England is a dead shark.
Perhaps we don't have the players to get the best out of him.
But, as a consequence, having him in the side is not best for the team. When England fail to keep the ball (often) Wayne wanders. He comes looking for it, desperate to get involved, succeeding only in breaking the shape of the side, and making Danny Welbeck look like he doesn't know where to play.
Maybe he doesn't, but he looked a lot more comfortable alongside a big number number nine than he did a tubby number ten.
And the worst thing is, we now have to listen to people talk about "Andy going all the way this year":
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
If you pertain to be your national team's best player, you have to show up when it matters. Look at the last four: Portugal, Germany, Spain, Italy.
Ronaldo, Ozil, Iniesta, Pirlo.
These players have already left their mark on this tournament. It's no coincidence that they now find themselves in the semi-finals.
We need to talk about Rooney.
Unfit, overweight, underperforming Wayne Rooney.
Far from being England's saviour, last night he wasn't even our best forward (at least Big Andy put himself about a bit when he came on). Quite frankly, he just didn't look good enough.
The harsh truth is, if Uncle Woy wants to play a four-four-two with a traditional pair of strikers up top, Wayne Rooney should be dropped.
That suggestion breaks my heart, because he remains our greatest talent. But this relationship is simply not working: Rooney and England is a dead shark.
Perhaps we don't have the players to get the best out of him.
But, as a consequence, having him in the side is not best for the team. When England fail to keep the ball (often) Wayne wanders. He comes looking for it, desperate to get involved, succeeding only in breaking the shape of the side, and making Danny Welbeck look like he doesn't know where to play.
Maybe he doesn't, but he looked a lot more comfortable alongside a big number number nine than he did a tubby number ten.
And the worst thing is, we now have to listen to people talk about "Andy going all the way this year":
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Sunday, June 24, 2012
SPAIN 2-0 FRANCE
Good riddance France.
Spain should not be blamed for this painful footballing experience, though their insistence on playing without a striker is, quite frankly, baffling. We all know they've got enough world class midfielders to fill two teams, but must they play them all?
But no, the real culprits must be France. Internal wranglings left Samir Nasri on the bench - an unpleasant man, sure, but still a potent attacking force - and with him sat French ambition.
And so the Quarter Finals are, thus far, going to form. Which leaves me wondering what tonight will bring. Writing this from sunny Somerset, nose streaming from hayfever, I can't quite work out what "the form" is for tonight.
England have been a bit like that. Are they actually quite good? Or will they be undone the first time they face a decent side?
Which begs the next question: are Italy a decent side?
Prior to our opening group game, most people thought France were good, but results and performances since have proven this not to be the case. Italy have drawn with the Spain Midfield XI and an average Croatian team and beaten the sorry Irish. Hardly the stuff of champions.
But, then again, they looked rubbish in 2006. Right up until this happened...
Calling this one is not for me. Especially when you consider that, in my pre-Euros predictions, I had Russia, Poland, Holland... and Ireland in the last eight.
Although I did have Germany to win. But I doubt you heard that here first.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Spain should not be blamed for this painful footballing experience, though their insistence on playing without a striker is, quite frankly, baffling. We all know they've got enough world class midfielders to fill two teams, but must they play them all?
But no, the real culprits must be France. Internal wranglings left Samir Nasri on the bench - an unpleasant man, sure, but still a potent attacking force - and with him sat French ambition.
And so the Quarter Finals are, thus far, going to form. Which leaves me wondering what tonight will bring. Writing this from sunny Somerset, nose streaming from hayfever, I can't quite work out what "the form" is for tonight.
England have been a bit like that. Are they actually quite good? Or will they be undone the first time they face a decent side?
Which begs the next question: are Italy a decent side?
Prior to our opening group game, most people thought France were good, but results and performances since have proven this not to be the case. Italy have drawn with the Spain Midfield XI and an average Croatian team and beaten the sorry Irish. Hardly the stuff of champions.
But, then again, they looked rubbish in 2006. Right up until this happened...
Calling this one is not for me. Especially when you consider that, in my pre-Euros predictions, I had Russia, Poland, Holland... and Ireland in the last eight.
Although I did have Germany to win. But I doubt you heard that here first.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Saturday, June 23, 2012
GERMANY 4-2 GREECE
There's a Eurozone joke in here somewhere.
Something about Greece receiving 50% of every German goal scored...
Leave it with me.
On the pitch everything went pretty much as expected - i.e. Greece defended, Germany won.
But, despite the suggestion that this was a mauling, it was still 1-1 on the hour. The fact that Greece were only on level terms for six minutes is both pedantic and unhelpful at this juncture.
There were also a couple of absolutely cracking volleys in this game, which has got me thinking about great volleys. Multiple Mark Hughes goals, naturally. Paul Scholes from a corner against Bradford. Rooney's overhead derby winner. Tony Yeboah at Anfield. David Platt in the 119th minute versus Belgium...
But, let's be honest, there's only one choice:
Tomorrow's Zizou video will feature a family holiday he once took to the Dordogne in the mid-nineties.
It will not feature Robbie Earle.
Next up, The Shining.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Something about Greece receiving 50% of every German goal scored...
Leave it with me.
On the pitch everything went pretty much as expected - i.e. Greece defended, Germany won.
But, despite the suggestion that this was a mauling, it was still 1-1 on the hour. The fact that Greece were only on level terms for six minutes is both pedantic and unhelpful at this juncture.
There were also a couple of absolutely cracking volleys in this game, which has got me thinking about great volleys. Multiple Mark Hughes goals, naturally. Paul Scholes from a corner against Bradford. Rooney's overhead derby winner. Tony Yeboah at Anfield. David Platt in the 119th minute versus Belgium...
But, let's be honest, there's only one choice:
Tomorrow's Zizou video will feature a family holiday he once took to the Dordogne in the mid-nineties.
It will not feature Robbie Earle.
Next up, The Shining.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Friday, June 22, 2012
CZECH REPUBLIC 0-1 PORTUGAL
In the end they were just 41 minutes short.
The Czechs, it seems, came into this quarter final with a game plan: penalties.
Many teams play for penalties. England were forced to in 2006 (post-Wooney-wed-card). And that worked out just fine.
But few teams have set their stall out quite as early as Michal Bilek's side did last night. Presumably the coach's pre-match team talk went something like this: "Two hours, boys - that's all. The length of an overly-long rom-com. Or four episodes of Blackadder." - I'm paraphrasing - "Keep Ronaldo out for 120 minutes and we're laughing".
And they would have been. Because CR7 was playing so well that he would definitely have missed his pen. 100%
That's how penalty shoot outs work. The man of the match / star player / talisman always misses. It's the full backs and journeymen that smash their spot kicks home - safe in the knowledge that nobody expects them to score.
So when England-Italy goes to penalties on Sunday, get your money* on Martin Kelly to net the winner.
This video is not about penalties. Or England. It's just really good:
[*do not put ANY actual money on this]
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
The Czechs, it seems, came into this quarter final with a game plan: penalties.
Many teams play for penalties. England were forced to in 2006 (post-Wooney-wed-card). And that worked out just fine.
But few teams have set their stall out quite as early as Michal Bilek's side did last night. Presumably the coach's pre-match team talk went something like this: "Two hours, boys - that's all. The length of an overly-long rom-com. Or four episodes of Blackadder." - I'm paraphrasing - "Keep Ronaldo out for 120 minutes and we're laughing".
And they would have been. Because CR7 was playing so well that he would definitely have missed his pen. 100%
That's how penalty shoot outs work. The man of the match / star player / talisman always misses. It's the full backs and journeymen that smash their spot kicks home - safe in the knowledge that nobody expects them to score.
So when England-Italy goes to penalties on Sunday, get your money* on Martin Kelly to net the winner.
This video is not about penalties. Or England. It's just really good:
[*do not put ANY actual money on this]
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
ENGLAND 1-0 UKRAINE / SWEDEN 2-0 FRANCE
About three seconds.
That's how long it took Clive Tyldesley to mention Frank Lampard's "phantom goal" against Germany, after Ukraine's Euro 2012 hopes were dashed by a visually-impaired fifth official. Perhaps the post was obscuring his view.
But this wasn't luck, according to Clive. This was justice. And luck.
And so In-Ger-Land now face Italy in the last eight, because Sweden decided to show up when there was nothing to play for, proving once and for all that Woy's Boys weally should have beaten France.
This doesn't matter anymore. What matters is how poor some of the England players are performing. Credit where credit's due: Glen Johnson was much improved (presumably he's an avid reader of this blog), and we have the best left back in the tournament - and admitting that makes me do a little bit of sick in my mouth. But Wayne's not match fit.
He's our best player, sure. He's our one genuine world-class player, sure. But he was poor last night. So was James Milner. So was Ashley Young.
Perhaps this is the sacrifice we've made to become "hard to beat" and "difficult to break down" - we don't get the best out of our forward-thinking players (not Milner). Because Rooney simply does not function in a flat four-four-two.
He never has at United and he never has for England. If anything, we looked more dangerous when Carroll came on for the last eight minutes. Wazza' came to life, suddenly occupying the space in behind a big number nine... for about five minutes until he was subbed.
But perhaps it's this system that gets the best out of the skipper:
So perhaps Uncle Woy's real lucky break came pre-tournament, with the injuries to Gareth Barry and Frank Lampard.
Perhaps.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Ashley Cole (England)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
That's how long it took Clive Tyldesley to mention Frank Lampard's "phantom goal" against Germany, after Ukraine's Euro 2012 hopes were dashed by a visually-impaired fifth official. Perhaps the post was obscuring his view.
But this wasn't luck, according to Clive. This was justice. And luck.
And so In-Ger-Land now face Italy in the last eight, because Sweden decided to show up when there was nothing to play for, proving once and for all that Woy's Boys weally should have beaten France.
This doesn't matter anymore. What matters is how poor some of the England players are performing. Credit where credit's due: Glen Johnson was much improved (presumably he's an avid reader of this blog), and we have the best left back in the tournament - and admitting that makes me do a little bit of sick in my mouth. But Wayne's not match fit.
He's our best player, sure. He's our one genuine world-class player, sure. But he was poor last night. So was James Milner. So was Ashley Young.
Perhaps this is the sacrifice we've made to become "hard to beat" and "difficult to break down" - we don't get the best out of our forward-thinking players (not Milner). Because Rooney simply does not function in a flat four-four-two.
He never has at United and he never has for England. If anything, we looked more dangerous when Carroll came on for the last eight minutes. Wazza' came to life, suddenly occupying the space in behind a big number nine... for about five minutes until he was subbed.
But perhaps it's this system that gets the best out of the skipper:
So perhaps Uncle Woy's real lucky break came pre-tournament, with the injuries to Gareth Barry and Frank Lampard.
Perhaps.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Ashley Cole (England)
Goal of the tournament: Ibrahimovic (SWEDEN v France)
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
CROATIA 0-1 SPAIN / ITALY 2-0 REP. IRELAND
Spain are being a little troublesome this tournament. You want to love them, but they've just been... a little bit flat.
Their performance against Ireland was ruthless, emphatic, but uncontested. Against Italy they, as has been well documented, set up to prove that nobody needs strikers to win football matches. And failed.
For long periods here, Croatia were the better team and Luka Modric successfully added a few million to his transfer fee with a star turn. But for the first 75 minutes, this was one of the least interesting fixtures of the group stage so far.
Meanwhile in Poznan, Italy overcame a very disappointing Republic side to progress as runners-up. Which pretty much tells you everything about Group C: bit disappointing and ultimately producing a predictable outcome.
Back to the matter in hand: In-Ger-Land, where everybody seems to be getting a tad over-excited about the return of Jafar.
Uncle Woy needs to protect the White Pele tonight, by making sure he sees plenty of the ball. Because when Wayne Wooney gets isolated, he gets frustrated...
I'm just saying.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Ronaldo (PORTUGAL v Holland) - [2nd goal]
Their performance against Ireland was ruthless, emphatic, but uncontested. Against Italy they, as has been well documented, set up to prove that nobody needs strikers to win football matches. And failed.
For long periods here, Croatia were the better team and Luka Modric successfully added a few million to his transfer fee with a star turn. But for the first 75 minutes, this was one of the least interesting fixtures of the group stage so far.
Meanwhile in Poznan, Italy overcame a very disappointing Republic side to progress as runners-up. Which pretty much tells you everything about Group C: bit disappointing and ultimately producing a predictable outcome.
Back to the matter in hand: In-Ger-Land, where everybody seems to be getting a tad over-excited about the return of Jafar.
Uncle Woy needs to protect the White Pele tonight, by making sure he sees plenty of the ball. Because when Wayne Wooney gets isolated, he gets frustrated...
I'm just saying.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Ronaldo (PORTUGAL v Holland) - [2nd goal]
Monday, June 18, 2012
DENMARK 1-2 GERMANY / PORTUGAL 2-1 HOLLAND
Cristiano Ronaldo is really good at football.
Regardless of what you think of him, this is undeniable. And he really came to life against a Dutch team out of ideas and out of luck. But the old adage about earning luck is as true in football as in all other walks of life.
CR7 kept creating chances, kept missing chances, and kept coming back for more.
Robben, Sneijder and co. kept creating, kept missing, kept sulking.
Forget all the posturing and pouting - and that habit he has of glancing up at the big screen hoping to see an immediate replay of his own latest flash of skill - and concentrate on the sheer work rate and professionalism of Cristiano Ronaldo.
Oh, and the Germans won as well. Again:
Question marks over the keeper there, surely...
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Ronaldo (PORTUGAL v Holland) - [2nd goal]
Regardless of what you think of him, this is undeniable. And he really came to life against a Dutch team out of ideas and out of luck. But the old adage about earning luck is as true in football as in all other walks of life.
CR7 kept creating chances, kept missing chances, and kept coming back for more.
Robben, Sneijder and co. kept creating, kept missing, kept sulking.
Forget all the posturing and pouting - and that habit he has of glancing up at the big screen hoping to see an immediate replay of his own latest flash of skill - and concentrate on the sheer work rate and professionalism of Cristiano Ronaldo.
Oh, and the Germans won as well. Again:
Question marks over the keeper there, surely...
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Ronaldo (PORTUGAL v Holland) - [2nd goal]
CZECH REPUBLIC 1-0 POLAND / GREECE 1-0 RUSSIA
Group A has been heavily neglected (mainly by me) but surely nobody saw this coming. The Czechs? And GREECE? What is this, 2004?
The real neglect here though was my dignity.
Choosing not to watch Russia and Poland sneak through via a couple of 1-1 draws, I chose to join some old friends on a "big night out".
If you thought Greece's brand of football was unappealing, you should see six supposedly straight thirtysomethings drinking pink champagne and singing the theme tune to Baywatch.
It was ugly.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Carroll (Sweden v ENGLAND)
The real neglect here though was my dignity.
Choosing not to watch Russia and Poland sneak through via a couple of 1-1 draws, I chose to join some old friends on a "big night out".
If you thought Greece's brand of football was unappealing, you should see six supposedly straight thirtysomethings drinking pink champagne and singing the theme tune to Baywatch.
It was ugly.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Carroll (Sweden v ENGLAND)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
SWEDEN 2-3 ENGLAND
To hell with hyperbolic restraint.
It was one of THE great headers:
Big Andy's towering leap was magic - and it was the distance he was from goal that made it so impressive. That and the full 360degree rotation his ponytail completed around its owner's head - like Nadal's tennis racket after a forehand.
Sure, there were problems with this performance: namely Glen Johnson.
Here's the thing about our Glen: he doesn't seem to understand where he should be at any point during a football match (including pre-kick-off team photos). This single flaw led to him playing everyone - EVERYONE - onside for Sweden's first goal (which he then scored), failing to pick Olof Mellberg up for the second, and only managing to gain praise for some "last ditch defending" because he was so horrendously out of position that "last ditch" was all it could be.
And then there's James Milner: a man presumably in the team to cover Johnson's defensive impotence. But I worry about Jimmy. He gives the impression of a man who hates playing football. Surely Uncle Woy needs a more positive influence on the right-side of midfield? And to do that, perhaps he should be playing a right back who knows where to stand.
Like Micah Richards.
Or Gary Neville.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Carroll (Sweden v ENGLAND)
It was one of THE great headers:
Big Andy's towering leap was magic - and it was the distance he was from goal that made it so impressive. That and the full 360degree rotation his ponytail completed around its owner's head - like Nadal's tennis racket after a forehand.
Sure, there were problems with this performance: namely Glen Johnson.
Here's the thing about our Glen: he doesn't seem to understand where he should be at any point during a football match (including pre-kick-off team photos). This single flaw led to him playing everyone - EVERYONE - onside for Sweden's first goal (which he then scored), failing to pick Olof Mellberg up for the second, and only managing to gain praise for some "last ditch defending" because he was so horrendously out of position that "last ditch" was all it could be.
And then there's James Milner: a man presumably in the team to cover Johnson's defensive impotence. But I worry about Jimmy. He gives the impression of a man who hates playing football. Surely Uncle Woy needs a more positive influence on the right-side of midfield? And to do that, perhaps he should be playing a right back who knows where to stand.
Like Micah Richards.
Or Gary Neville.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Sweden 2-3 England
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Carroll (Sweden v ENGLAND)
UKRAINE 0-2 FRANCE
ITV1 have accidentally stumbled upon a formula that brings the best out of their panel: no football.
As very very frightening thunderbolts and lightning stopped the on-pitch action, Adrian Chiles turned to Messrs. Strachan, Vieira and Southgate, and asked for weather-based anecdotes to fill time.
What he got was Gordon's tale of an Aberdeen blackout in the mid-eighties and Gareth taking the piss out of Roy Keane - from a sensible range of several miles.
It was terrific TV.
The fact that Patrick Vieira clearly had no clue what "Aberdeen" was, just added to the merriment. And Chiles finally relaxed - presumably free from a voice in his ear saying "we're going to ads in seven seconds" every fifteen seconds - and reminded viewers of the likeable screen presence he used to be on MOTD2:
Aside from Arjen Robben with hair, the most amazing thing about that clip is the size of the studio sofa. No wonder the BBC couldn't afford to keep Chiles - their upholstery bill must have been enormous.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
As very very frightening thunderbolts and lightning stopped the on-pitch action, Adrian Chiles turned to Messrs. Strachan, Vieira and Southgate, and asked for weather-based anecdotes to fill time.
What he got was Gordon's tale of an Aberdeen blackout in the mid-eighties and Gareth taking the piss out of Roy Keane - from a sensible range of several miles.
It was terrific TV.
The fact that Patrick Vieira clearly had no clue what "Aberdeen" was, just added to the merriment. And Chiles finally relaxed - presumably free from a voice in his ear saying "we're going to ads in seven seconds" every fifteen seconds - and reminded viewers of the likeable screen presence he used to be on MOTD2:
Aside from Arjen Robben with hair, the most amazing thing about that clip is the size of the studio sofa. No wonder the BBC couldn't afford to keep Chiles - their upholstery bill must have been enormous.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
Friday, June 15, 2012
SPAIN 4-0 REP. IRELAND
With the possible exception of Shay Given - who despite the scoreline made a couple of excellent saves - the best performance by an Irishman last night was brought to us by Roy Keane.
His vitriolic disgust at Keith Andrews "praising the fans" after his team had been utterly outplayed was magical TV. Keano does not believe the Irish should be at tournaments "just for the sing-song" and Andrews playing the old 'shoulder-shrugging-plucky-underdog' card really pissed him off. It was brilliant.
One of these days, Roy is going to explode on live TV. He'll start by headbutting Adrian Chiles for "knowing cock all about football" and then turn his attention to Gareth Southgate who, if he's got any sense, will have already got in a taxi and screamed "AIRPORT!"
He's a one man industry: a football pundit who really knows what he's talking about and doesn't give a flying f*** what anybody else thinks. Neither of him nor of football. Because he's right. Because he's Roy Keane:
This was far too easy for Spain, who played some lovely football but faced little resistance. After a two-game exit, I've been left wondering how Ireland qualified for this tournament in the first place. David Silva's goal was the sort I used to witness in the playground aged about 8 years old. Only I was the defender left on his backside rather than the scorer.
But with Fernando looking sharp again, the Croatia game could be a belter.
Alternatively, both sides may just play out a draw and wave the Italians off early. Maybe ITV should send Roy Keane into both dressing rooms before kick off...
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
His vitriolic disgust at Keith Andrews "praising the fans" after his team had been utterly outplayed was magical TV. Keano does not believe the Irish should be at tournaments "just for the sing-song" and Andrews playing the old 'shoulder-shrugging-plucky-underdog' card really pissed him off. It was brilliant.
One of these days, Roy is going to explode on live TV. He'll start by headbutting Adrian Chiles for "knowing cock all about football" and then turn his attention to Gareth Southgate who, if he's got any sense, will have already got in a taxi and screamed "AIRPORT!"
He's a one man industry: a football pundit who really knows what he's talking about and doesn't give a flying f*** what anybody else thinks. Neither of him nor of football. Because he's right. Because he's Roy Keane:
This was far too easy for Spain, who played some lovely football but faced little resistance. After a two-game exit, I've been left wondering how Ireland qualified for this tournament in the first place. David Silva's goal was the sort I used to witness in the playground aged about 8 years old. Only I was the defender left on his backside rather than the scorer.
But with Fernando looking sharp again, the Croatia game could be a belter.
Alternatively, both sides may just play out a draw and wave the Italians off early. Maybe ITV should send Roy Keane into both dressing rooms before kick off...
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
ITALY 1-1 CROATIA
Andrea Pirlo was here described as the "midfield metronome" by the BBC's Simon Brotherton. This alliterative, yet clumsy, footballing metaphor is usually reserved for Spain's Xavi Hernandez. High praise indeed.
The fact that I felt compelled to write that is typical of many football fan's relationship with Andrea Pirlo.
Has there ever been a more underrated, world-class performer?
85 Italian caps, 3 Serie A titles, 2 Champions Leagues, World Cup winner (man of the match in the 2006 final) - and yet, if ask the bloke next to you in the pub, you'll be told in no uncertain terms that he's rubbish. Doesn't create anything. Can't tackle. Has a girl's name. This kinda' stuff.
Today our 'Drea (bless her) scored a goal that was an EXACT replica of Sir David Beckham's free kick against Ecuador in the World Cup that Pirlo and co. won.
I'm not going to show that goal here, because I wanted this video to be An Ode To Disappointing Marios:
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
The fact that I felt compelled to write that is typical of many football fan's relationship with Andrea Pirlo.
Has there ever been a more underrated, world-class performer?
85 Italian caps, 3 Serie A titles, 2 Champions Leagues, World Cup winner (man of the match in the 2006 final) - and yet, if ask the bloke next to you in the pub, you'll be told in no uncertain terms that he's rubbish. Doesn't create anything. Can't tackle. Has a girl's name. This kinda' stuff.
Today our 'Drea (bless her) scored a goal that was an EXACT replica of Sir David Beckham's free kick against Ecuador in the World Cup that Pirlo and co. won.
I'm not going to show that goal here, because I wanted this video to be An Ode To Disappointing Marios:
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
HOLLAND 1-2 GERMANY
Germany are good at football.
This is one of Europe's eternal truths. Like debt crisis.
Mario Gomez appears to have the knack of making himself completely invisible and ineffective for long periods of play, then popping up with two outstanding goals. Like Gerd Muller.
Presumably Thomas Muller was given the number 13 shirt in the hope of inspiring him to another major championship Golden Boot - in keeping with his namesake, Der Bomber:
So far that doesn't appear to have worked. But at least that video contains the world's greatest voice over.
Like a robot who has recently been taught to speak English. By James Earl Jones.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
This is one of Europe's eternal truths. Like debt crisis.
Mario Gomez appears to have the knack of making himself completely invisible and ineffective for long periods of play, then popping up with two outstanding goals. Like Gerd Muller.
Presumably Thomas Muller was given the number 13 shirt in the hope of inspiring him to another major championship Golden Boot - in keeping with his namesake, Der Bomber:
So far that doesn't appear to have worked. But at least that video contains the world's greatest voice over.
Like a robot who has recently been taught to speak English. By James Earl Jones.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Holland 1-2 Germany
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Van Persie (HOLLAND v Germany)
DENMARK 2-3 PORTUGAL
You have to feel for Cristiano Ronaldo.
No, really.
The guy is just wishing he was back in La Liga with Jose and Mezut and Karim and Xabi. Because in the white of Portugal, he's surrounded by numpties.
He even had to endure the Denmark fans chanting "Messi! Messi! Messi!" at him.
Speaking of which:
Even during the European Championships - a continent which he doesn't even hail from - Messi is overshadowing Ronado by scoring a hat trick against Brazil.
Surely he should be on his holidays.
Just to repeat: that's a hat trick. Against Brazil.
Not a missed one-on-one versus Denmark.
Give it a rest will you Lionel, you're making Ronnie look bad.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Denmark 2-3 Portugal
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Blaszczykowski (POLAND v Russia)
No, really.
The guy is just wishing he was back in La Liga with Jose and Mezut and Karim and Xabi. Because in the white of Portugal, he's surrounded by numpties.
He even had to endure the Denmark fans chanting "Messi! Messi! Messi!" at him.
Speaking of which:
Even during the European Championships - a continent which he doesn't even hail from - Messi is overshadowing Ronado by scoring a hat trick against Brazil.
Surely he should be on his holidays.
Just to repeat: that's a hat trick. Against Brazil.
Not a missed one-on-one versus Denmark.
Give it a rest will you Lionel, you're making Ronnie look bad.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Denmark 2-3 Portugal
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Blaszczykowski (POLAND v Russia)
POLAND 1-1 RUSSIA
For a team sitting 62nd in the FIFA World Rankings, Poland don't half play some good football.
Despite sitting behind both Honduras and El Salvador in the global ladder, the joint hosts have kept themselves in the hunt for an unlikely Quarter Final place by scoring a stonking equaliser on the break. A goal that Mick McCarthy described as "a thing of beauty".
Hearing everyone's favourite Irish Yorkshireman describe anything as "a thing of beauty" is both brilliant and terrifying. Like listening to Geoffrey Boycott really enjoying a piece of cake on Test Match Special. You're pleased for him, but wish he wasn't doing it in your ears.
This result and performance proves one of two things:
A) the world rankings are a farce
OR
B) the host nations always over perform
We should hope the answer is B - because England are by far and away the highest ranked team in our group (eight places above France). And, if Group D ends so tight that teams have to be separated by tie-breaking criteria number six, we're laughing. The drawing of lots is number eight.
In fact (according to the UEFA coefficient ranking system) only Spain, Germany, Holland and Italy are better than Woy's Boys. Which means England are nailed on for the knockout stage.
If they fall short, they will officially, and statistically be "bloody rubbish".
But the reality is that, if they weren't hosting, there's no way Poland would have qualified.
Which is exactly why the FA keep bidding for tournaments.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Russia
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Blaszczykowski (POLAND v Russia)
Despite sitting behind both Honduras and El Salvador in the global ladder, the joint hosts have kept themselves in the hunt for an unlikely Quarter Final place by scoring a stonking equaliser on the break. A goal that Mick McCarthy described as "a thing of beauty".
Hearing everyone's favourite Irish Yorkshireman describe anything as "a thing of beauty" is both brilliant and terrifying. Like listening to Geoffrey Boycott really enjoying a piece of cake on Test Match Special. You're pleased for him, but wish he wasn't doing it in your ears.
This result and performance proves one of two things:
A) the world rankings are a farce
OR
B) the host nations always over perform
We should hope the answer is B - because England are by far and away the highest ranked team in our group (eight places above France). And, if Group D ends so tight that teams have to be separated by tie-breaking criteria number six, we're laughing. The drawing of lots is number eight.
In fact (according to the UEFA coefficient ranking system) only Spain, Germany, Holland and Italy are better than Woy's Boys. Which means England are nailed on for the knockout stage.
If they fall short, they will officially, and statistically be "bloody rubbish".
But the reality is that, if they weren't hosting, there's no way Poland would have qualified.
Which is exactly why the FA keep bidding for tournaments.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Russia
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Blaszczykowski (POLAND v Russia)
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
GREECE 1-2 CZECH REPUBLIC
Some fixtures just don't really get the pulse racing.
Unless you're Czech. Or Greek. I'm neither, but I have visited both countries - which I think makes me uniquely placed to comment on this fixture.
Alternatively, we could all just enjoy Foghorn Leghorn losing himself in a sporting metaphor:
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
Unless you're Czech. Or Greek. I'm neither, but I have visited both countries - which I think makes me uniquely placed to comment on this fixture.
Alternatively, we could all just enjoy Foghorn Leghorn losing himself in a sporting metaphor:
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
UKRAINE 2-1 SWEDEN
You've gotta' love it when the big stars perform.
If goals were awarded to players based purely on fame and reputation, this game would have ended Sheva 2-1 Zlatan the Brand. And so it was.
Prior to joining Chelsea - the graveyard of already world class strikers (Torres, Casiraghi, Crespo) - Andriy Shevchenko was arguably the most complete centre forward in world football. Quick, two-footed, good in the air, and cool as you like.
Ice cool.
Skip to 6:45 in the video below, and watch him impatiently waiting for permission to win AC Milan the European Cup:
He knows he's going to score. He KNOWS he's going to score.
Like all great strikers, there's not a sliver of doubt in the young Ukrainian's mind.
And maybe that's the thing. Maybe it's only the arrogance of youth that can fail to understand the ramifications of missing that penalty. Never has an Englishman looked so calm in a penalty shoot out. The fear of failure hangs over them like an enormous Pizza Hut advert in the sky, ready to rain money down on their retired selves. Perhaps this is something that plagues many footballers in their late twenties.
By this point of a player's career they will have tasted defeat, suffered the pain of failure, and not want to experience it again. Not now they're approaching their peak. Is that why so few players genuinely fulfill their potential?
And why, so often, top players enjoy Indian summers in their thirties? Because the fear falls away and they start to enjoy themselves again, just like they did when they didn't know any better. The brevity of their playing careers shifting from paralysing to liberating. I don't know.
What I do know is that Shevchenko is one of the few players in this tournament who's older than me. Which is probably why I like him so much.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
If goals were awarded to players based purely on fame and reputation, this game would have ended Sheva 2-1 Zlatan the Brand. And so it was.
Prior to joining Chelsea - the graveyard of already world class strikers (Torres, Casiraghi, Crespo) - Andriy Shevchenko was arguably the most complete centre forward in world football. Quick, two-footed, good in the air, and cool as you like.
Ice cool.
Skip to 6:45 in the video below, and watch him impatiently waiting for permission to win AC Milan the European Cup:
He knows he's going to score. He KNOWS he's going to score.
Like all great strikers, there's not a sliver of doubt in the young Ukrainian's mind.
And maybe that's the thing. Maybe it's only the arrogance of youth that can fail to understand the ramifications of missing that penalty. Never has an Englishman looked so calm in a penalty shoot out. The fear of failure hangs over them like an enormous Pizza Hut advert in the sky, ready to rain money down on their retired selves. Perhaps this is something that plagues many footballers in their late twenties.
By this point of a player's career they will have tasted defeat, suffered the pain of failure, and not want to experience it again. Not now they're approaching their peak. Is that why so few players genuinely fulfill their potential?
And why, so often, top players enjoy Indian summers in their thirties? Because the fear falls away and they start to enjoy themselves again, just like they did when they didn't know any better. The brevity of their playing careers shifting from paralysing to liberating. I don't know.
What I do know is that Shevchenko is one of the few players in this tournament who's older than me. Which is probably why I like him so much.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
FRANCE 1-1 ENGLAND
Last weekend, my Mum innocently asked me "is there football on every day at the moment?" - which I can only assume is due to my Father having stopped her watching Big Brother.
I told her to enjoy the tournament while she can, because when England start playing, the whole thing becomes a painful and tedious experience.
But I like Roy Hodgson and I think he's doing the best he can with a pretty duff hand. He's bluffing his way through the early rounds in the hope that his opponents go 'all in' early and leave England to sneak into the latter stages when they actually have no right to be there.
And it might just work. But I would never say that out loud...
A braver choice of substitutions (Big Andy, anyone?) could have seen us pinch this. France were out of ideas and there for the taking. But Uncle Roy looked at his cards and settled for the draw, when le President's French team were looking far from a royal flush.
To continue that clumsy metaphor would be unwise. And so special mention must instead go to the man stood behind me in a central London pub, who hated the French and liked to swear. A lot. Very loudly. In my ear.
Like it or not, Mum: now England are up and running, Euro 2012 - unlike Big Brother on Channel 5 - is going to be impossible to ignore.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
I told her to enjoy the tournament while she can, because when England start playing, the whole thing becomes a painful and tedious experience.
But I like Roy Hodgson and I think he's doing the best he can with a pretty duff hand. He's bluffing his way through the early rounds in the hope that his opponents go 'all in' early and leave England to sneak into the latter stages when they actually have no right to be there.
And it might just work. But I would never say that out loud...
A braver choice of substitutions (Big Andy, anyone?) could have seen us pinch this. France were out of ideas and there for the taking. But Uncle Roy looked at his cards and settled for the draw, when le President's French team were looking far from a royal flush.
To continue that clumsy metaphor would be unwise. And so special mention must instead go to the man stood behind me in a central London pub, who hated the French and liked to swear. A lot. Very loudly. In my ear.
Like it or not, Mum: now England are up and running, Euro 2012 - unlike Big Brother on Channel 5 - is going to be impossible to ignore.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
REP. IRELAND 1-3 CROATIA
It's not 1988 anymore.
For starters, in footballing terms, Croatia didn't exist until two years later.
Not that this Ireland side would have beaten the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia either.
But from the moment Croatia softly took the lead, right up until just before half time when they struck again (softly), Ireland were the better side. And the men in green made us believe that we might still be living in a time when the Iron Curtain divided Europe.
A time of West Germany and the USSR:
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
For starters, in footballing terms, Croatia didn't exist until two years later.
Not that this Ireland side would have beaten the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia either.
But from the moment Croatia softly took the lead, right up until just before half time when they struck again (softly), Ireland were the better side. And the men in green made us believe that we might still be living in a time when the Iron Curtain divided Europe.
A time of West Germany and the USSR:
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
SPAIN 1-1 ITALY
Not quite sure what to make of Spain.
Anyone who suffered my WC2010 blog will know that I'm mildly in love with Andres Iniesta, and tiki-taka in general, but there are undeniably cracks starting to appear.
Before Chelsea fans start dancing upon the beautiful game's grave, I don't think the little man's game is dead. Just resting. And Spain are still trying to work out how their plan B properly functions. Or perhaps even what that plan B is.
If any team is missing any player at Euro 2012, then Spain are missing David Villa - just as Barcelona have since December:
What's noticeable about this goal is that the 41st pass (out of the 42-pass move) is route one - straight over the top from Pique to Villa.
The lesson here is that tiki-taka only works if there's a genuine outlet: a plan B. This is especially true when it comes up against teams that get men behind the ball. And when Barcelona or Spain are involved, let's be honest, that's every other team.
All of which makes the decision to play without a striker even more baffling.
What a terrible indictment of Fernando Torres and how far he has fallen from grace in the four years since the last European Championships. It's heartbreaking and I blame Chelsea.
As my good friend, the concert pianist G. W. Le Flanc said "you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone". For Spain, this is true of both Villa and Torres.
Having said all that, Italy's midfield three looked dynamite.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
Anyone who suffered my WC2010 blog will know that I'm mildly in love with Andres Iniesta, and tiki-taka in general, but there are undeniably cracks starting to appear.
Before Chelsea fans start dancing upon the beautiful game's grave, I don't think the little man's game is dead. Just resting. And Spain are still trying to work out how their plan B properly functions. Or perhaps even what that plan B is.
If any team is missing any player at Euro 2012, then Spain are missing David Villa - just as Barcelona have since December:
What's noticeable about this goal is that the 41st pass (out of the 42-pass move) is route one - straight over the top from Pique to Villa.
The lesson here is that tiki-taka only works if there's a genuine outlet: a plan B. This is especially true when it comes up against teams that get men behind the ball. And when Barcelona or Spain are involved, let's be honest, that's every other team.
All of which makes the decision to play without a striker even more baffling.
What a terrible indictment of Fernando Torres and how far he has fallen from grace in the four years since the last European Championships. It's heartbreaking and I blame Chelsea.
As my good friend, the concert pianist G. W. Le Flanc said "you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone". For Spain, this is true of both Villa and Torres.
Having said all that, Italy's midfield three looked dynamite.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)
Goal of the tournament: Di Natale (Spain v ITALY)
GERMANY 1-0 PORTUGAL
Oh here we go - classic Germany: solid, well-organised, grinding out the win, playing themselves into the tournament etc. etc.
They're nailed on for the final.
The problem with Portugal is a relatively simple one: they have, in Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the tournament. So why are they playing him left side of a front three?
GET. HIM. DOWN. THE. MIDDLE.
In 144 appearances for Real Madrid, CR7 has scored 146 goals in all competitions.
Let's just go over that again... 146 in 144. He's scored more than a goal a game for three full seasons. For Real Madrid.
He knows where the goal is, Portugal just need to get him in front of it:
Rafa would destroy him on clay.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Alan Dzagoev (Russia)
Goal of the tournament: Gomez (GERMANY v Portugal)
They're nailed on for the final.
The problem with Portugal is a relatively simple one: they have, in Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the tournament. So why are they playing him left side of a front three?
GET. HIM. DOWN. THE. MIDDLE.
In 144 appearances for Real Madrid, CR7 has scored 146 goals in all competitions.
Let's just go over that again... 146 in 144. He's scored more than a goal a game for three full seasons. For Real Madrid.
He knows where the goal is, Portugal just need to get him in front of it:
Rafa would destroy him on clay.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Alan Dzagoev (Russia)
Goal of the tournament: Gomez (GERMANY v Portugal)
HOLLAND 0-1 DENMARK
It's 1992 all over again:
But what would I know - I was watching a three hour Woody Allen documentary.
I like the early funny ones.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Alan Dzagoev (Russia)
Goal of the tournament: Pavlyuchenko (RUSSIA v Czech Republic)
But what would I know - I was watching a three hour Woody Allen documentary.
I like the early funny ones.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Alan Dzagoev (Russia)
Goal of the tournament: Pavlyuchenko (RUSSIA v Czech Republic)
RUSSIA 4-1 CZECH REPUBLIC
While Russia were stamping their authority on Group A, I was at the theatre watching an eight-hour production of 'Gatz', in which the entirety of F. Scott Fitzgerald's 'The Great Gatsby' is read aloud.
It was amazing:
In football news: the little number ten looked good for Russia.
Arsenal should buy him.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Alan Dzagoev (Russia)
Goal of the tournament: Pavlyuchenko (RUSSIA v Czech Republic)
It was amazing:
In football news: the little number ten looked good for Russia.
Arsenal should buy him.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Alan Dzagoev (Russia)
Goal of the tournament: Pavlyuchenko (RUSSIA v Czech Republic)
POLAND 1-1 GREECE
Two years ago I set out to watch every game of the 2010 World Cup finals. I failed.
What I succeeded in doing was discovering the secret truth at the heart of major international football tournaments: a lot of the games are not very good.
So, as Euro 2012 appeared on the horizon like a vast continental competition, I decided to take a different approach. Sod it!
Some games I will watch - some games I will miss - some games I will intentionally avoid - some games have all the luck.
And some games I will want to watch but simply not be able too.
This is where the magic happens.
These are the fixtures that live in the memory, like girls you never kissed. These are the battles that will always seem exotic and magical, because the thought of them is always so much better than the reality. Just like girls.
Take England beating Spain on penalties at Euro 96. As Stuart Pearce smashed home his redemptive penalty, I was selling paracetamol in Boots the Chemists (no more than eight in 24 hours):
But I never sat through the two disallowed Spanish goals. Or their two penalty claims. Or Steve Stone coming on in extra time.
I was too busy supplying contraceptives to the good and virile people of Somerset.
And that's just one game in a list of near misses: Gascoigne's goal v Scotland in the same tournament (and with the same pharmaceutical excuse); England's 1998 victory over Colombia (landscape gardening in the United States); and a girl called Ruby in a Taunton nightclub.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Przemyslaw Tyton (Poland)
Goal of the tournament: Lewandowski (POLAND v Greece)
What I succeeded in doing was discovering the secret truth at the heart of major international football tournaments: a lot of the games are not very good.
So, as Euro 2012 appeared on the horizon like a vast continental competition, I decided to take a different approach. Sod it!
Some games I will watch - some games I will miss - some games I will intentionally avoid - some games have all the luck.
And some games I will want to watch but simply not be able too.
This is where the magic happens.
These are the fixtures that live in the memory, like girls you never kissed. These are the battles that will always seem exotic and magical, because the thought of them is always so much better than the reality. Just like girls.
Take England beating Spain on penalties at Euro 96. As Stuart Pearce smashed home his redemptive penalty, I was selling paracetamol in Boots the Chemists (no more than eight in 24 hours):
But I never sat through the two disallowed Spanish goals. Or their two penalty claims. Or Steve Stone coming on in extra time.
I was too busy supplying contraceptives to the good and virile people of Somerset.
And that's just one game in a list of near misses: Gascoigne's goal v Scotland in the same tournament (and with the same pharmaceutical excuse); England's 1998 victory over Colombia (landscape gardening in the United States); and a girl called Ruby in a Taunton nightclub.
THE STORY SO FAR
Match of the tournament: Poland 1-1 Greece
Player of the tournament: Przemyslaw Tyton (Poland)
Goal of the tournament: Lewandowski (POLAND v Greece)
Thursday, January 26, 2012
LIVERPOOL 2-2 MANCHESTER CITY / BARCELONA 2-2 REAL MADRID
Two weekends ago I was in the Nou Camp.
Barcelona beat Real Betis 4-2 and I was there.
Just me, my Dad, and about 70,000 others.
But I didn't write about that quasi-religious experience.
I didn't write about the pure theatre of the Greatest Football Stadium On Earth or how, when the Greatest Football Team On Earth came out to warm up, they were greeted like rock stars. Like the Harlem Globetrotters. But in the 70's:
Two weekends ago I saw one of modern sports' greatest sights: Lionel Messi bearing down on goal, chased by five helpless defenders. The little fella' scored two that night. And everybody went home happy.
But I'm not writing about that.
I want to tell you about being packed into the Most Spanish Pub In West London watching Liverpool-Man City on one lonely TV while all around, multiple other screens burst into life to show El Classico.
Or, as I embarrassingly referred to it with the barman, "The Classico".
He knew what I meant. Everybody knows.
Craig Bellamy was excellent for Liverpool last night. But all eyes were on Barca-Real: surely the Greatest Club Fixture In World Football at this moment in time. And last night's offering was pure drama.
It had everything: tension, skill, nasty fouls, controversy, outstanding goals, and enough of the world's best players to make a genuine World XI just from those on the pitch.
But even after visiting the Nou Camp, even after buying a hat, and a scarf, and leaping to my feet as if Catalan blood flowed through my veins; even after making the pilgrimage and loving every second of it, every blade of beautiful grass...
I still wanted Madrid to win.
Because I wanted to see what Mourinho would do if they had.
He's such a brilliant bastard.
Messi is a genius, but it's people like Jose that make me love football.
Barcelona beat Real Betis 4-2 and I was there.
Just me, my Dad, and about 70,000 others.
But I didn't write about that quasi-religious experience.
I didn't write about the pure theatre of the Greatest Football Stadium On Earth or how, when the Greatest Football Team On Earth came out to warm up, they were greeted like rock stars. Like the Harlem Globetrotters. But in the 70's:
Two weekends ago I saw one of modern sports' greatest sights: Lionel Messi bearing down on goal, chased by five helpless defenders. The little fella' scored two that night. And everybody went home happy.
But I'm not writing about that.
I want to tell you about being packed into the Most Spanish Pub In West London watching Liverpool-Man City on one lonely TV while all around, multiple other screens burst into life to show El Classico.
Or, as I embarrassingly referred to it with the barman, "The Classico".
He knew what I meant. Everybody knows.
Craig Bellamy was excellent for Liverpool last night. But all eyes were on Barca-Real: surely the Greatest Club Fixture In World Football at this moment in time. And last night's offering was pure drama.
It had everything: tension, skill, nasty fouls, controversy, outstanding goals, and enough of the world's best players to make a genuine World XI just from those on the pitch.
But even after visiting the Nou Camp, even after buying a hat, and a scarf, and leaping to my feet as if Catalan blood flowed through my veins; even after making the pilgrimage and loving every second of it, every blade of beautiful grass...
I still wanted Madrid to win.
Because I wanted to see what Mourinho would do if they had.
He's such a brilliant bastard.
Messi is a genius, but it's people like Jose that make me love football.
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