THIS TIME NEXT WEEK...

Group A will be one third of the way complete.

South Africa will have played Mexico and France will have played Uruguay.

The 2010 World Cup will only have 62 matches left to play.

A friend of mine, this very evening, mused that "perhaps non-football fans don't realise that from next Friday, there will be THREE games on every day".

While I agree with the sentiment, I feel I really should correct this statement, replacing excitement with fact:

Friday 11th June: TWO games
Sat 12th - Mon 21st June: THREE games a day
Tues 22nd - Fri 25th June: FOUR games a day
Sat 26th - Tues 29th June: TWO games a day (second round)

Wed 30th & Thurs 1st July: REST DAYS

Fri 2nd & Sat 3rd July: TWO games a day (quarter finals)

Sun 4th & Mon 5th July: REST DAYS

Tues 6th & Wed 7th July: ONE game a day (semi-finals)

Thurs 8th July & Fri 9th July: REST DAYS

Sat 10th July: ONE game (3rd/4th place play off)
Sun 11th July: ONE game (world cup final)

I step away from that list with two thoughts:

1) how cute that the World Cup still has a third / fourth place play off...
2) those REST DAYS are key - and I don't mean for the players, I mean for us armchair fans. These are the days when things must get done (seeing non-football friends, calling family members, eating a decent meal etc.), but these are also the days that we must REST. By the time the first one comes around (Wed 30th June), 24 teams will already have been eliminated.

24! Between 1982 and 1998 that was the total number of teams competing in the finals!

Which begs the question: would England have progressed to the semi-finals in 1990 in a 32-team tournament? Watch this and get goosebumps while you think about it:



But speaking of England: the worst thing about Emile putting Rio out of the World Cup is that now we have a serious 'greedy hands' issue surrounding the inevitable trophy presentation.

Take a look at any recent major final and you'll see that there's a problem with modern footballers and their sweaty little mitts. They can't help themselves - no sooner has the poor Captain got his hands on the trophy (and being the first to do so is surely the one BIG bonus of his job) then he's descended upon by his team mates, all jumping up and down and singing "Campiones! Campiones! Ole - ole - ole!"

Gone are the days where a proud Captain can take a moment to compose himself, maybe giving the trophy a little kiss, before hoisting it over his head to an explosion of noise around him.

Between them: FIFA, UEFA, the FA, and the need for huge sponsored 'presentation areas', have reduced the art of trophy lifting to little more than a bun fight for the bouquet at a particularly rough wedding. And that's BEFORE you introduce the problem of who is supposed to be the ACTUAL Captain.

So stand aside the suspended Laurent Blanc (complete with 'civilian' wristwatch) watching on awkwardly as Didier Deschamps lifts Blanc's World Cup for France in 1998; forget Schmeichel & Ferguson grappling with the European Cup as Roy Keane fumes in his club suit behind an incomprehensively prominent David May in 1999; because the England team of 2010 could take this farce to the next level.

Sepp Blatter and chums are well advised to dive behind their nearest official partners' hoarding, rather than get in between nominal vice-captain Stevie G, injured captain Rio Ferdinand, ousted skipper John Terry, and everyone's favourite non-playing squad member, Mr. D. Beckham, as they scuffle for the privilege of being the first to thrust the World Cup above their heads and shout "COME ON!".

And, while we're on the subject, let's not lie to ourselves anymore: we all know that our David is in South Africa because essentially, and certainly in the eyes of the rest of the world, he is still the England captain. And he knows it.